Envy: (n.) a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities, or “luck”.
Happiness: (n.) the state of being happy.
Happy: (adj.) feeling or showing pleasure or contentment
Life has a crazy way of placing you between happiness and envy.
Everyone experiences the ups and downs of life. As the saying goes, “if you haven’t yet, live a little longer”. No one can escape the rollercoaster, the only way to get off is DEATH! I understand that! I accept that! But the downs and dips of this ride can cause my spirit to dip too if I am not observant. In the past, the dips of life caused me to become somewhat tainted. Even while tainted I stuck to my motto of “spread love, spread joy, spread hope and encouragement”. I pushed for people to be better, to do better. I poured into them and celebrated their successes, their accomplishments. But after the celebration was over, I was left wondering not “why me” but “why not me, too”. I was genuinely happy for them, glad doors opened, and they made it through. Or so I thought. Their high intensely reflected my low. I felt like I was doing everything right, taking all of the right steps so “why not me, too”? It seemed that everything I desired was coming to fruition in the lives of those around me, amplified on the big screens of my eyes. Things that I longed for, that I prayed for, that I worked towards, flew over my house landing on the doorsteps of my neighbor. I tossed and turned pondering if I could truly be happy and envious at the same time. Could two opposing forces cohesively occupy the same space? At its core, the answer was simple…NO! Ultimately, continuing to believe the lie that I could be both would have been detrimental to my health in every way possible. Remember that a little bit of leaven will impact all of the dough (1 Corinthians 5:6).
I had to take a step back and examine myself. Having envy in my heart says more about me than anything. It played on the dissatisfaction that I had with life and the unhappiness that set over my spirit.
Like a little leaven will cause all of the dough to rise, even a little bit of envy will consume happiness and cause your entire spirit to be tainted. Do not be deceived! Envy eats away at any happiness that exists for the person. It keeps you from truly and completely being happy. While happiness is genuine, envy corrupts it. Having feelings of envy means somewhere deep down you don’t fully want the person to have that success or blessings they received. The congratulations and smiles are only a mask to cover the envy and jealousy that’s at your core. Let’s be honest, its jealousy. Saying that we’re happy for someone sounds so much better than admitting the envy we feel. Pronouncing happiness makes us feel better because we know that envy is a negative feeling.
This is why it’s important to check ourselves and check our true emotions. Remove the mask and be vulnerable. We all have negative feelings at times, especially during the hard times in life. This pandemic is no exception. Many people have lost a lot of things they worked hard for and don’t know how they will make it day to day. It’s important to recognize the negative emotions and the mask worn as a cover-up. We have to realize that though something positive may be happening in someone else’s life, it doesn’t mean good things will not happen for us. We have to trust God and know that in the end, we will reap what we sow (Galatians 6:7). Continue to stay the course, trust God, and fight the negative feelings. All of our efforts and hard work will pay off if we do not give up (Galatians 6:9).
I have learned that joy is crucial in defeating envy and experiencing true happiness for others during our “life dips”. Joy is key because joy is not circumstantial. Joy is independent of everything that’s going on internally and externally. Joy comes from God and is one of the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22). It comes from knowing He loves us despite our mistakes and that He has us despite our situation. So, when others are on a mountain while you may be in a valley, continue to look up because God has it all in control.
Joy: (n.) a feeling of great pleasure and happiness
“Joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be alright, and the determined choice to praise God in every situation”
-Rick Warren
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