Grace (n): 1 unmerited divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration or sanctification.
2 disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency.
Why is it that we are the hardest on ourselves? Is it that we learned it from treatment from others or is it that we know we can do better than what we are doing? Honestly, it could be a combination of both or neither of those reasons.
In full transparency, I was supposed to release this blog post on Grace in February/March. Work became extremely busy and required so much of my attention. I honestly lacked grace up until this point. I beat myself up for work-related items, personal items, and even my commitment to this blog. I had an original blog post that was about 80-85% complete but dropped the ball. As I work to begin giving myself grace again, I wanted to update that original post with where I’m at right now.
Back to the initial question raised at the beginning of the post. Why are we the hardest on ourselves? This is especially important since God has given us grace. He recognizes that we are not perfect, that we fall short at times, and that we cannot show up 100% all the time. If we are supposed to be a reflection of Him, then why do we fail to reflect His grace? Through God’s grace, we have been given a second, third, and/or fourth chance. To be quite honest, many of us have received way more chances than that. Yet, we are ready to cut the entire foot off when we trip.
Grace has been something that I have been able to extend to others better than I have for myself. Maybe this is because I know that everyone has something. Many people are walking around damaged and broken from childhood. Many people are walking traumas, triggered even more by the last year and a half. Although my “somethings” allow me to see the humanity in others and extend grace, it somehow prevents me from doing the same for myself. However, I can admit, in the same breath, that I am not always as graceful as I should be to others. God is working on me in that area too.
Unlearning the lessons of traumas and silencing their voices are key in extending and accepting grace. Forgiveness is a key factor, as well. It is important to release the shortcomings, mistakes, and traumas. Both grace and forgiveness allow us to let go of things in order to make space for something new and/or better. “Don’t sweat the small stuff”, right? Sometimes it’s best to overlook some things and keep trekking along, otherwise, it can distract and hinder us from our purpose and assignment.
This is really a learning process that requires action. It’s not enough to say it, we must work to walk it out daily. Walking it out includes taking time with yourself as you improve your practice of grace. Acknowledge that grace is not an overnight thing. It took a while to get to the point you are turning from, so it most likely will take a minute to get to the place you aspire to be.
Me writing this post is a step towards giving myself grace. It’s my acknowledgment that God has given me another chance and that I should take the chance and DO. It’s the acceptance of my shortcomings, not being 100%, or not always having a full cup.
We all need grace. First that from God, then that from ourselves. The beautiful thing is we have experienced grace from God, even if we have never experienced it from ourselves or others. God’s grace should serve as a template on how we must extend grace to ourselves and others. As I continue to walk out grace, I plan to be kind, gentle, patient, and forgiving to myself.
Remember that we are all works in progress. Give grace to others but remember to give it to yourself. God has given us grace! Pray for your good sis that I remember to give myself grace today and until my last breath leaves this body.
Let me know if you struggle with being graceful to yourself in the comments. If you do or have in the past, share some tips that you are incorporating or plan to incorporate to make grace a regular part of your life.
Also, go listen to Jonathan McReynolds song “Grace”. It’s a reminder of God’s grace and our constant need for it. It is His grace that will fuel our grace towards others but most importantly towards ourselves.
I leave you with 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV): But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
Peace & Love
“Grace is when God gives us what we don’t deserve.”
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