I took a deep breath
And walked toward the end of the diving board.
Looking down in the water, fear began to set in.
I don’t know which one it was
My fear of heights or my fear of falling
That crept in.
Another deep breath.
“Okay, get it together. You got this girl!”
But it was hard to get because rather than diving into my dreams
I have always dove into my insecurities,
Questioning my abilities,
Keeping my passions and interest between only me and God.
This was something new
And I did not know if I would sink or swim.
Another deep breath.
For some reason walking the diving board
Before that brave leap
Felt more like walking the plank.
Sharks swimming beneath waiting to devour me as I fall.
“Snap out of it!”
It’s my mind playing tricks on me.
Isn’t it funny how our minds can be our biggest hinderance?
Another deep breath.
And another deep breath.
“God, what have I gotten myself into? Why did I even climb up here?”
I heard His voice say in response
“you have to climb out of your comfort zone and trust in Me.
You will never sink, even if you don’t swim
Because I am your life vest.
Trust in Me and you will not fail.
You will not drown.
And you will not fall.”
Another deep breath.
Now calmer than before,
I took another step closer to the edge.
Another step out of my comfort zone.
Trembling and shaking but backed by the reassurance of God.
Remembering that I was covered and protected by my life vest
I continued to move closer to the end.
As I got closer to the end
The board beneath me became less sturdy,
Less secure.
The security of my comfort zone wavering,
Fleeing quickly from me.
Another deep breath.
“It’s either now or never. It’s time.”
I face my fears head on and dive headfirst.
Breaking free out of my comfort zone,
Severing any attachments that are holding me back.
Completely taking a leap of faith
Repetitively shouting internally “God, please don’t let me down or drown”.
SPLASH!
Another deep breath.
Gasping for air
As my adrenaline pumps through my body.
I’m still alive.
Thank, God!
My leap didn’t break me.
I’m swimming!
Another deep breath.
Relief settles in.
It’s done. I did it! I’m doing it!
I don’t know how long I will be able to keep swimming.
But it’s good to know that I am covered by a life vest
that will keep me afloat when I do stop.
Even when I am not swimming,
I will not sink!
I’m happy I took that faith dive.
Trusting God,
Who is always with me.
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